tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post8566920511502339443..comments2024-03-19T14:52:00.000-07:00Comments on Coming Down the Mountain: Novel Done, Soundbite? Handle? Aargh!!Karen Jones Gowenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11378428503220197256noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-48566799248242041922010-08-18T06:25:02.070-07:002010-08-18T06:25:02.070-07:00Oh gosh, I have just got through the synopsis and ...Oh gosh, I have just got through the synopsis and now find there is a one line pitch to write!<br /><br />One writer, one pen. Writer puts down pen. The end. LOL LOL <br /><br />I think your final say is a good one by the way.Glynis Peters https://www.blogger.com/profile/01175378917872403609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-14371829563909687042010-08-13T08:04:38.920-07:002010-08-13T08:04:38.920-07:00I like the second two because you use examples to ...I like the second two because you use examples to show us what they sisters are dealing with...<br /><br />I totally suck at this part too.Mollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09737883086499020291noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-28635494510518038892010-08-12T06:52:26.732-07:002010-08-12T06:52:26.732-07:00I LOVE your handle! I was more thinking of the for...I LOVE your handle! I was more thinking of the formula for your blurb--I find it hard to use for coming up w/ONE sentence, but it does help me put together a 3-5 sentence blurb... Ha! :D<br /><br />Anyway, left you an award on my bloggie blog... check it out, ya'll~ ;o)LTMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05239077455322030275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-29604887724292346742010-08-12T06:01:42.109-07:002010-08-12T06:01:42.109-07:00Good luck! That sounds like a tough task. It'...Good luck! That sounds like a tough task. It's taking a query and boiling it down even further.<br /><br />Okay, I'll try. <br /><br />Ugh. I've been trying for five minutes. 10-15 words? <br /><br />"A murderous mist puts Eve and Adam on a quest to save civilization from itself."<br /><br />I'm leaving out Eve wrestling with her feelings about Adam, but I'm out of word allowance!<br /><br />For you:<br /><br />"If Cindy tells her sister, Marcie there's something wrong with her baby, will their relationship survive?"<br /><br />It's 16 words. <br /><br />Good luck!Theresa Milsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03477761307315565259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-67944569086575443902010-08-11T18:57:11.040-07:002010-08-11T18:57:11.040-07:00I have no clue but there is a commenter that seems...I have no clue but there is a commenter that seems to have it down pat. Great post.<br /><br />CDAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12160669603997465454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-86534102534986348942010-08-11T18:48:36.352-07:002010-08-11T18:48:36.352-07:00Vicki, That's the essence of why it's so h...Vicki, That's the essence of why it's so hard to do these suckers. We're too close to it, and we can't figure out how to put the essence of our story in 15 words!!<br /><br />Kathi, I always need help shortening my pitch. Good luck with your signing!<br /><br />Andrea, Your comment validates the effectiveness of this handle. By George I think I've got it. <br /><br />Belle, I'd rather write a synopsis any day than one of these things. See how I needed everyone's help?<br /><br />You guys are all the bomb! Thanks for everyone's help and feedback.Karen Jones Gowenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01153821980625034810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-32119962421441665092010-08-11T18:43:36.483-07:002010-08-11T18:43:36.483-07:00I'm late to the game, sounds like you're p...I'm late to the game, sounds like you're pretty close to a winner, but I'm here so I might as well say something, eh?<br /><br />I was just going to say that the initial attempts seemed to be too close to the story, but you've taken a step back and I think you're on the right track now. This one is sounding much better.Vicki Rochohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07381089434014961076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-50816740799224943782010-08-11T17:57:52.395-07:002010-08-11T17:57:52.395-07:00This post is just what I needed. I have a signing ...This post is just what I needed. I have a signing Saturday and I really needed help shortening my pitch. Thanks!Kathi Oram Petersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11959149321213743448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-77232522567765370052010-08-11T17:51:35.541-07:002010-08-11T17:51:35.541-07:00Two sisters instead of two women would be a good s...Two sisters instead of two women would be a good summary. Your story really resonates with me Karen. Especially since my sister and I do not get along. Let me know when your book is due to be published. I will purchase it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00501918398545296619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-11907258650530963022010-08-11T17:10:12.099-07:002010-08-11T17:10:12.099-07:00And I thought a synopsis was hard! The new handle ...And I thought a synopsis was hard! The new handle sounds good to me.Bellehttp://msbookish.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-40160704343685386302010-08-11T16:08:19.415-07:002010-08-11T16:08:19.415-07:00LTM, many thanks for this awesome comment! I'v...LTM, many thanks for this awesome comment! I've seen this formula and find it very difficult to use with character-driven novels, thus my agonizing struggle. <br /><br />Here's my final offer:<br /><br />"Two sisters, one facing opportunity the other tragedy. Will their bond endure?"<br /><br />But again, it emphasizes theme (the bond between sisters) rather than plot twist.Karen Jones Gowenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01153821980625034810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-33737932464952986582010-08-11T15:58:44.599-07:002010-08-11T15:58:44.599-07:00Hey, KG! OMG, yes. This is the absolute worst. Hav...Hey, KG! OMG, yes. This is the absolute worst. Have you seen Nathan B/Rachel G's little formula for writing the one-sentence pitch? I use it, but often end up w/what you're going for. <br /><br />In case you missed it, here's the formula w/example:<br /><br />What it should include:<br />? A character or two<br />? Their choice, conflict, or goal<br />? What’s at stake (may be implied)<br />? Action that will get them to the goal<br />? Setting (if important)<br /><br />Tips:<br />? Keep it simple. One plotline, 1 or 2 characters.<br />? Use the strongest nouns, verbs and adjectives.<br />? Make the conflict clear but you don’t have to hint at the solution.<br /><br />In your one-sentence summary, try not to pitch a theme. Pitch what happens. Examples of themes:<br /><br />This book explores forgiveness.<br />This book looks at the thin line between right and wrong.<br />This book explores the meaning of independence, and asks if it’s really possible.<br /><br />Here is Nathan Bransford's simplified formula for a one-sentence pitch: "When [opening conflict] happens to [character(s)], they must [overcome conflict] to [complete their quest]."<br /><br />Examples of one-sentence summaries:<br /><br />Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling<br />• A boy wizard begins training and must battle for his life with the Dark Lord who murdered his parents. (Thanks Randy Ingermanson for this one.)<br /><br />? Character=boy wizard<br />? Conflict=battling the Dark Lord<br />? Stakes=his life<br />? Setting=none<br />? Action=wizard training; avoiding the same fate as his parentsLTMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05239077455322030275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-60887150684413553472010-08-11T15:26:31.553-07:002010-08-11T15:26:31.553-07:00Oh just read Brigid's comment, I like the word...Oh just read Brigid's comment, I like the word bond. <br /><br />Two women, sisters and best friends, one facing opportunity the other tragedy. Will their bond endure? <br /><br />I like bond instead of relationship. Thanks Brigid :)Karen Jones Gowenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01153821980625034810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-27489004457156371562010-08-11T15:24:06.554-07:002010-08-11T15:24:06.554-07:00Really? You guys like it? It piqued your interest?...Really? You guys like it? It piqued your interest? The reason I changed it to women was so readers would understand it wasn't 14 year old girls with their opportunities being a date with the hot guy and their tragedy being a date with a not so hot guy.<br /><br />I could say: Two women, sisters and best friends, one facing opportunity the other tragedy. Will their relationship endure?<br /><br />Is that one better? It's longer at 16 words, and doesn't seem quite as concise. I'm not sure.Karen Jones Gowenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01153821980625034810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-44107686413332587892010-08-11T15:16:12.648-07:002010-08-11T15:16:12.648-07:00Yep, I like your new handle. It's enough to pi...Yep, I like your new handle. It's enough to pique interest :)Lynda R Young as Elle Cardyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09975442291393246148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-67983659282791126012010-08-11T14:53:09.428-07:002010-08-11T14:53:09.428-07:00Your handle is shaping up so well--now I want to r...Your handle is shaping up so well--now I want to read the book :-) <br />I like the word "sisters" instead of women as well.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05383099148014297450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-74028267510523596722010-08-11T14:50:11.787-07:002010-08-11T14:50:11.787-07:00Handle? I need a handle? Oh crap!Handle? I need a handle? Oh crap!Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-46351388955570055542010-08-11T14:44:02.914-07:002010-08-11T14:44:02.914-07:00"Two sisters" instead of "two women..."Two sisters" instead of "two women" maybe???<br /><br />Oh but I do like the "two women, one facing.."etc. though.<br /><br />Yay!! What a great outcome!<br /><br />Take care<br />xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-73052075532044178682010-08-11T14:40:51.454-07:002010-08-11T14:40:51.454-07:00Probably a bit long but this is what I came up wit...Probably a bit long but this is what I came up with?<br /><br /><br />Two sisters – one of them living a dream, the other a nightmare. Is the bond between sisters really the strongest?Brigid O'Connorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08646687391409208367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-75369947679299889442010-08-11T14:09:27.122-07:002010-08-11T14:09:27.122-07:00How about this: (Thanks to Summer!)
Two women, o...How about this: (Thanks to Summer!)<br /><br />Two women, one facing opportunity, the other facing tragedy. Will their friendship endure?<br /><br />It's down to 13 words. Is it enticing?Karen Jones Gowenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01153821980625034810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-60634510883122817552010-08-11T12:40:21.582-07:002010-08-11T12:40:21.582-07:00Handles are tough for me, but I really like Summer...Handles are tough for me, but I really like Summer's suggestion.Linda G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/04576828490765434497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-56982050734317985002010-08-11T12:39:55.053-07:002010-08-11T12:39:55.053-07:00Book "handle" blurbs are very, very toug...Book "handle" blurbs are very, very tough. Trying to get everything said in 15 words-aack! I've never been able to do that well. I'm better at book jacket blurbs that can be 250 words or less. This gives you more wiggle room. Good luck! I really like Summer Ross's!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-18002985606609983852010-08-11T11:26:48.809-07:002010-08-11T11:26:48.809-07:00That should read "intimidated!"That should read "intimidated!"Lizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16170701034715108039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-764866418187326042010-08-11T11:24:23.657-07:002010-08-11T11:24:23.657-07:00Yup, I'm intimidates. Glad I'm not anywhe...Yup, I'm intimidates. Glad I'm not anywhere near this point yet.Lizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16170701034715108039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7852800943772489474.post-28101678094824745622010-08-11T11:13:20.701-07:002010-08-11T11:13:20.701-07:00Summer, ooh that has potential. Thanks, wow and yo...Summer, ooh that has potential. Thanks, wow and you just spun that out so fast. I wish I had that talent.Karen Jones Gowenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01153821980625034810noreply@blogger.com